FINALLY, Some government spending I can really support!

I just read a "zombie apocalypse" article published by the CDC... yes folks, at long last, the CDC gets serious about the impending zombie apocalypse.

Here is the article in it's entirety.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

A Brief History of Zombies
We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident EvilExternal Web Site Icon.), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schlozman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living DeadExternal Web Site Icon. and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival GuideExternal Web Site Icon. identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyed NASAExternal Web Site Icon. VenusExternal Web Site Icon. probe (as in Night of the Living DeadExternal Web Site Icon.), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prionsExternal Web Site Icon., mad-cow diseaseExternal Web Site Icon., measlesExternal Web Site Icon. and rabiesExternal Web Site Icon..

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

Better Safe than Sorry

So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.

    * Water (1 gallon per person per day)
    * Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
    * Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
    * Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
    * Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
    * Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
    * Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
    * First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

   1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
   2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
   3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
   4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Right off the bat, I have two issues with this article. First off... “human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead” I’m not entirely sure that I trust someone who doesn’t do all their research. Then again, the good people at the CDC aren't paid to keep up on zombie folklore, classic (Romero), or modern zombies. Only the Return of the Living Dead (John A Russo’s breed) eat brains. Secondly, I have to point out that Selenium is an element in the periodic table and Solanum is the zombie virus. Regardless, overall, the article is strong in it's subject.

Now, to those that would criticize me for posting this article, possibly stating that “this is a waste of tax dollars” I can only say that you, yourself are a waste of tax dollars with your incredible idiocy. Articles like this draw attention from a generation that would otherwise ignore messages like this to consider emergency preparedness for any disaster. While this article is somewhat light-hearted (Seriously though, hats off to the CDC for having a sense of humor on an otherwise important subject. It’s good to know bureaucrats in DC aren’t all walking around like a bunch of…well…zombies. You just made government cool again. Applause for having the courage to actually do something creative to draw interest to an important subject, disaster preparedness. Well Done! My favorite Zombie survival tip from Max Brooks – First ascend the staircase, then destroy it.), it draws proper attention by a demographic that would not normally think of such preparedness techniques. I certainly hope those making statements like this are purely trolls sent over by Fox News as otherwise, you are imbeciles. An article on preparedness without the word zombie would not attract the public eye as much as one that would.

And to those who would point out that the writer left out weapons as part of the prep kit, let's talk about that for a moment. Weapons over essentials, it does not matter if you have a gun to fire or bat to swing if you don’t have the strength to lift them due to muscle fatigue from dehydration or starvation. In a zombie-like scenario, bunkering is the best strategy for the common person to survive given an adequate stash of supplies. Obviously, the standard, non-couponing household will have a limited supply of up to a month (not considering fresh water) but a much longer supply is needed to allow for basic zombie degradation (depending on region and population density). Weapons are more likely needed against pillaging neighbors than from unwanted advances by the undead.

In closing, if you would like to read an excellent book about disaster preparation on a whole, and zombies, click here, for The Zombie Survival Guide, written by Max Brooks, it's about as in depth as you can get!