Only laughter... because I am shocked lol, someone beat my friend Donnie to the punch...
Introducing...
Culled from the book jacket: Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!
The reviews are hilarious. You can buy the book here...
It's a funny thing about a lot of blogs on websites such as this, they rarely seem to actually achieve their ultimate goals. Ostensibly, the facts presented seem to attempt to give you some idea of the person. Though most read more like a bland political or social pamphlet, rather than an actual insight into their personality, conveying nothing more than a contrived sense of image is conveyed. It is with this in mind, most of what I have put down here is very much the true definition of me.
Furthermore... This is MY BLOG, it's not my real life, or my whole life, there's a lot, that you people don't really know about me. So don't go making assumptions, based solely on what you read or see here. In the end, I share what I want to share, when I want to share, and keep private what I want to be private...
Afterall... it's just a blog...
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Afterall... it's just a blog...
With 林小鹿 comes much responsibility, 林小鹿 can not be sold at any price. There are rules to possessing 林小鹿, keep 林小鹿 out of the light, 林小鹿 hates bright light, especially sunlight, it’ll kill 林小鹿. Second, don’t give 林小鹿 any water, not even to drink. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much 林小鹿 cries, no matter how much 林小鹿 begs, never feed 林小鹿 after midnight. 林小鹿 is not affiliated with the planet Kepler-47b in any way. Republication of 林小鹿 is strictly prohibited in Micronesia and The United States territory of Guam. You must be a legal Svalbard resident, and be at least 950 years old or older. 林小鹿 is available in limited quantities, so act now. Sarcasm, grandiloquence and flatulence comes standard. 1906758324.2% APR financing available on approved credit. 林小鹿 contains no preservatives, am MSG free, and 林小鹿 is in compliance with both Kosher and Halal guidelines! 林小鹿 comes in three flavors: デコポン, 酢橘 and 睦奥. You must complete two reward offers from each of the Silver and Gold reward offers and nine reward offers from the Platinum reward offers and then refer 7,273,738,433 friends to do the same, to be eligible to be 林小鹿の “Best Friend“. Completion of reward offers requires abdication of your full legal name, your Mother’s maiden name, Social Security Number, 11-digit national ID number, Paypal account information, birth-date, credit and debit card numbers; including the 3 digit code on the back of each card, birth certificate, and all of your Social Networking usernames and passwords, with The United National Bank of 林小鹿 and Uwe Boll which is located in Gwagwalada, Nigeria. 林小鹿 has a Beautiful Midget Child-Sized Puppet… this guard child is a particular vicious breed… One should maintain 3,198,275,460 feet away from me at all times, as the guard child is prone to attack. 林小鹿 contains astonishingly high amounts of Aluminum Hydroxide, Antimony, Arsenic, Barium, Beryllium, Bismuth, Bromine, Cadmium, Cerium, Cesium, Fluoride, Gadolinium, Lanthanum, Lead, Lithium, Mercury, Neodymium, Osmium, Platinum, Terbium, Thallium, Vanadium, and Ytterbium, in the form of “Plant Derived Mineral Powder“. The Surgeon General also warns that the corn syrup candy coating on 林小鹿 has been known to cause cancer in lab technicians. 林小鹿の “Percent Daily Value” is based on a 7,581,209,364 calorie diet, and 林小鹿の Daily Value has not been established. Various types of 林小鹿 are available. 林小鹿 has been known to be swayed by liberal applications of obsequiousness. 林小鹿 has been shown to enhance male virility in a double-blind study on 100,000 female participants. Be sure to catch 林小鹿の Live Nude Burlesque Show when it comes to your city. Prices are subject to change. Participation is required. Your mileage may vary. In the end, you do with 林小鹿 what your society has done with all of nature’s gifts. You do not understand. You are not ready. Perhaps some day, you will be ready. Until then, 林小鹿 waits.
Donnie says, "Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?!"
ReplyDeleteI said, "You did."