Midget...

You got your hands all goopy with paint today, and you swam with no fear, jumping straight into the 5ft area, you're lucky I was right there to pull you up... sometimes your total and utter lack of fear scares the shit out of me...

Dear Linda...

She is my child, I will potty train her when I want, and when I feel she's ready, until then, please, shut the fuck up about it... again, she is MY CHILD... I have the scar to prove it.

I don't care if you "don't believe it" or not, I did not have sex with Jeff when we were dating, and even if I did, it's none of your fucking business... It's none of your business regarding any sex that I had when I was 17, much less 31 years old. When and if I decide to have sex with Jeff, it will be on my terms, and yet again, yep, you guessed it, it's none of your mother fucking business...

While I am being honest here... Take care of your own pets, dishes, messes and son... I am not your fucking maid, and allow me to go on record when I say, I AM ON STRIKE.

Finally, my PC, and any other equipment is MINE, I will do with it what I please, and when I please. I will not pack it up. Quit bitching about it, it's not doing any good.

Another Birthday gift for Midget!

I have to admit, there are a lot of advantages to introducing modern technology to toddlers, as learning tools. The only problem is that toddlers and infants generally cannot be trusted with delicate gadgets, at least mine can't. That is why, the Vinci Tab II, ‘the learning tablet’ for children is awesome. The tablet is big and sturdy so that no amount of rough usage by toddlers and infants will bring any harm to it. It features a 7-inch display with 800 x 480 pixels resolution, a 3MP camera, 1.2GHz Cortex A8 processor, 8GB of internal storage, a MicroSD card slot, and Wi-Fi. This Android running tablet comes equipped with three different levels of ‘premium educational applications’, and a few free interactive storybooks and animated music videos. It can run for 8 hours once fully charged.

This has been added to my Amazon Wishlist!

I totally found Midget's next Birthday gift!

For years now we have all relied on Post-it notes to remind us to do the little things that frequently slip our minds. What about those people who still don’t manage to remember anything – like the husband who always forgets the milk, or the babysitter who always forgets bedtime... Or perhaps just an overzealous artsy Midget toddler with a propensity for drawing on anything made of paper... A monster-sized Post-it table is the only solution, like the one offered by The Post-ITable by Italian design firm Soup Studio. Forget not finding something to write on, this whole desk is one giant post-it note! This playful table is made to be written on, ripped off, and stuck to the wall. Don’t worry if you run out of paper, just put on a new block, and you have a brand new table! No one will be able to miss that huge reminder on the wall!

♂ or ♀... or perhaps... ⚦

Either way, I love her...

Though, there are days like this when I question whether or not I am raising a boy, or a girl. Today, she wanted to go see the trains, so we went to go see the train yards, with all the trains, then she wanted to go see the airplanes, so we went to tour Dobin's AFB, and she saw a bunch of planes, and then she helped (insisted) changing the air filter in the car.

Upon changing her diaper a few moments ago, I sighed with relief the lack of a penis rofl.

Several Things...

Went to Rabun Camp grounds this weekend, mostly because I didn't want to be left alone for 4 days...

It was so cold... I hated that aspect of it. Most who know me, know that I don't deal well with cold temperatures at all. 37° temperatures at while trying to sleep is not my idea of fun at all.

Midget had a blast, however. She loved being outdoors. Collecting firewood, going for walks. Sunday we went to Helen, rode on a horse drawn carriage, and we bought her a life-size (well Midget size anyway) Simba. Monday we went to Tallulah Falls. She was in awe of the water, and the suspension bridge.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning...

Noon: I tell Linda, "Watch her, I have to finish packing up so that we can leave." (Trent had to be at work at 5:30, and it was a 2 hour or more drive back)

1:30pm: I finish loading the car, and the only thing left to do is deconstruct the tent equipment. She comes over to help, leaving Midget in the camper. I put the last of the rods and stakes in the tent bag and walk over to the camper, Midget is standing in the doorway, with this disgusted look on her face and white particles on her lips and chin. Curious, I wipe them off. Instantly I know, they are parts of a pill... or what's left of a pill. I gave her to Linda, screaming. I went into the camper to find that she had gotten into Linda's UNLOCKED, RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN, pill box... 2 pills were missing. 1 Metformin (a diabetes drug) 500mg pill (the white particles I swept away were what was left of that pill), and 1 Simvastatin (a cholesterol drug) 20mg pill (of which we never found). Chaos is the best word I can describe the next 40 minutes. Linda cramming salt water down Midget's throat... thinking it would make her vomit, me screaming at her to stop, James scrambling for cell phone signal... Finally a moment of clarity comes and I run to the pay phone at the top of camp, getting to the phone I dialed 911, there were two gentleman unpacking their SUV, getting ready for a day of bear hunting. Needless to say I am screaming, I am crying and I am largely hysterical... Yelling at the 911 operator, I didn't know how to instruct them to get to us... I was losing what little composure I had left, when the man took the phone from me and instructed the 911 operator how to get to us, turns out that man, whom I only know by Michael, was a doctor, he rushed back to our camp and immediately took over, trying to keep Midget awake until the paramedics arrived...

Michael I will forever be in your debt for helping us... Though we will most probably never see each other again. Thank you so much...

2:30pm: We are on our way to the hospital. The paramedics largely didn't know what to do. They wanted to call Poison Control, but they too, had no cell signal.

2:48pm: 3 minutes away from the hospital, Josiah, the paramedic, gets through to the Poison Control. They tell us there's nothing to worry about. That the Simvastatin would cause an upset stomach, and that the Metformin was harmless under 1700mg. We then pull over into the supermarket parking lot, and offload a very scared, sleepy Midget, and start the drive home.

3:30pm: We are at the Dairy Queen eating swiftly to get back on the road so that Trent can get to work, when Midget starts projectile vomiting ALL OVER ME!

4:19pm: We are back on the road after cleaning Midget and myself up.

We got home just as Trent was supposed to clock in for work. Calling his work he explained what had happened and left for work.

The rest of the night was uneventful...
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Wednesday:

My legs are KILLING ME from that run up to the phone... it hurts with every step... my legs didn't like the marathon speeds... Midget is feeling okay, she is watching Lion King with Simba.

I am listening to the GazettE's new album TOXIC... I am disappointed, only liking one song, and seeing 5 of the 14 songs are from singles released over a year ago, and 2 instrumentals... this feels like an even more shitty version of DIM...

I am also sitting here reading about a German man having been deported at the ripe age of 96 for "war crimes", having been an SS guard at Sobibor in World War II. Having been charged with 200,000 counts of "accessory to murder". I find this to be absolutely absurd... he was a guard, doing his job in war time... he would have been charged with treason and executed if he didn't follow orders. Instead he survived only to be charged 50+ years later... give me a break...

Why aren't we charging the pilots of the Enola Gay for 200,000 deaths, after all they were only doing their jobs as well.

How about the American pilots of Vietnam and Korea shooting random civilians for kicks... why aren't we tracking them down and charging them with "war crimes" as well...

I am disgusted with how we have given the Jews and Israel carte blanche in prosecuting "Nazis"... It's over...

Seriously Alabama... unconstitutional immigration laws... I think Obama said it best.

"We need to put a stop to this, what Alabama is doing, what Arizona tried to do, and other states who are attempting to follow, it's out of control. We can't have a patchwork of 50 states with 50 different immigration laws. We can't have a situation in which individual counties are trying to enforce their own immigration laws rather than having a national approach and following it."

One last thing... Pastor Joel Osteen needs an education... 90% of America's are NOT Evangelical Christians.

Anyway, I think I am going to spend some time with Midget, rest my throbbing legs, and sort ebooks...

My brush with death of the stinging kind...

I blame my friend Ryan... It's all his fault lol, because it happened to him a few weeks ago.

We took Sarai out hiking this morning, and she sat in a Yellow Jacket nest... got stung a bunch of times, and of course I wasn't thinking, I went in after her, if I had been stung... I would have died (as I am highly allergic to the stings), because Trent couldn't have gotten both of us out of the woods...

Anyway, we took her to the ER, they treated her and released her... she is now resting comfortably in her bed... Today has been a really scary day... I think tomorrow I will call my Doctor and ask for a prescription for an Epi-Pen or two...

My Midget...

After late night projectile vomiting, and a large and lengthy bout of diarrhea, she is now resting comfortably, or as comfortably as she can... She has eaten little these past few days, we suspect she has a stomach virus, which must run it's course. I hope she is feeling better after she rests a bit. I am utterly exhausted... I think I will take advantage of her nap, and try to rest, myself. If I can get just a few hours of sleep, I will feel so much better I think.

Here's to trying...

My Midget...

She had a doctors appointment this week, and she's lost 3lbs... I feel like I am in 2002 all over again... This can't be happening... not again...